小小和平使者

愛與衝突通訊-底圖-No2-05-01愛與衝突通訊-底圖-No2-05-02       去年十月,我被班上同學選為學校的小小和平使者。知道消息時,我很開心也有點驚訝。媽媽來學校當義工那天,老師把好消息告訴她。我覺得好巧、好好玩,因為爸爸媽媽也正在跟Harry伯伯和Nancy阿姨同工作兒童和睦營的事情。

        剛開始,我不知道小小和平使者是怎樣的工作。我參加了三次兩小時的訓練課程。老師教我們有關小朋友常會有的感覺和需要,也教我們怎麼樣用”I”信息,來幫助小朋友說出心裡的感受。我們也學習如何幫助小朋友平靜心情、彼此道歉和重新和好。

        現在,我每星期三的所有下課時間都要「上班」當小小和平使者。我穿上有橘色線條的閃光黃色背心制服,還要帶一份「和睦手冊」。當操場上有吵架問題時,老師或小朋友都可以來找我們幫忙。我和我的夥伴會平靜地走去問:「你們需要我們幫助嗎?」我們會很有耐心地等他們回答。然後,我就問他們是否願意平靜地解決這個難題。如果願意,我們就把他們帶到操場一角。那裡,地上已經畫好7雙腳印,就是重修和好的腳步。

        當吵架的小朋友踏上第一步,我就幫助他們輪流用”I”信息說出他們的感受。他們每做完一個步驟,我們就往下一步前進。接下來,我會教他們同理並重複說出對方的感覺,再請他們輪流說出自己的需要,和下次會如何改變自己的反應。最後,請他們握手和好。

       有一天,我的朋友Z和H為了一項遊戲規則吵起架來。我請H先說出他的感受:「當別人不聽我說話時,我感覺很難過。」

        我提醒Z要先同理H的感受。她說:「我知道了。當別人不聽你說話時,你很難過。別人對我很凶的時候,我感覺很受傷。」

        H也接受Z的感受,「我懂了。當別人對妳很凶的時候,妳覺得很受傷。」

        接下來,我問他們現在需要甚麼?他們都說需要一點時間和空間。然後,我繼續問下次會如何改變自己的反應。他們都說會更有耐心去聆聽對方說話。

       我最後問,是否還有其他的難題需要解決?他們都說沒有。我就請他們握手和好,然後馬上去跟老師報告難題解決了!

       我很喜歡當小小和平使者。我希望可以幫助更多小朋友,但是我姊姊說,自從小小和平使者開工以來,就越來越少人想在學校吵架了!我想,這也算是件好事吧!

In October, I was happily surprised to find out that I was elected by my class to be a peacemaker in school. When my mommy came to be the mystery reader, Ms. Jannasch told her about the good news. I thought it was such a funny coincidence because mommy and daddy are working with Uncle Harry and Auntie Nancy on a peacemaking program for kids, too.

I did not know what to expect being a peacemaker. I had to attend 3 different 2-hour training sessions first. They taught us about feelings, needs and gave us tools, such as “I” messages, “clean-up” phrases, and “stop & breathe” techniques to help people solve their problems.

Now I work every Wednesday during recess to help people settle their differences on campus. I get to wear a neon yellow vest with neon orange stripes and carry a “peace path” script chart. When someone sees a problem, they can come and call peacemakers on duty to help. I would walk over calmly with my partner and ask them, “do you need our help?” I patiently wait for their response and ask them again, “Are you ready to solve this peacefully?” When they do, I take them to the 7-step peace path already painted on the playground and help them walk through each step.

When the fighting parties stand on the first step, I will help them take turns talking about his/her feelings using an “I” message. Then, I help them acknowledge and repeat the other person’s feelings. Next, they take turn talking about their needs and how they would behave differently next time. Finally, when they reach the last step of the peace path, they need to shake hands and leave in peace.

Once, my friend Z and H were fighting over how to play a game. I ask H to tell us how he felt.

“I feel bad when people don’t listen to me,” H first said.    

“I know you feel bad when people don’t listen to you. I feel hurt when people yell at me!” Z responded.

“I know you feel hurt when people yell at you,” H said. Then, I help Z to ask H how she can make things better. They both said that they needed some time and space to regroup. Then, I asked my friends, “From now on, what will you do differently?” They both said, “From now on, I will listen to you better.”

“Is there anything else?” I asked. They didn’t have any other issues, so I asked them to shake hands and reported back to the teacher that we solved the problem.

I like being a peacemaker. I wish I get to help more people, but my sister says that now with peacemakers on duty, nobody wants to fight anymore. I guess that is a good thing too!

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