更好地對待別人 – 張以樂,九年級

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        The beginning of thisyear, Love and Conflict Peacemaking Ministries held its first Children’s Peacemaking Retreat and I was lucky to be one of the first kids to arrive and to attend this retreat. At this 3-day 2-night retreat, I learned about solving conflicts at home, at school, and in life. The key to becoming a peacemaker lies in our desire to love and please God.

Little did I know that the information I have learned from this retreat would become so helpful in my daily life so quickly. Like every other teen in the world, I face friendship conflicts in life. Whether its being in the middle of two friends that are fighting, or choosing to end a friendship with someone who might not be a good influence, friendship conflicts come in many shapes and forms.

This February 2018, I made friends with a girl who I later figured out did not exactly have the best behavior or influence on the people around her. She was extremely nice to me, but could be a little harsh to other people. To those she didn’t like, she would call some unkind names, and would not treat with as much respect as she did with me. During the times in which I figured out that this was the kind of person she was towards other people, I suddenly started to recall what I had learned at the retreat earlier in the year. It was weird at first, and I really did not know how to approach her, but I remembered starting out with patience. When I heard her making harsh comments about someone, I would gently tell her to stop, but I never accused her of being harsh. Eventually, I decided to talk to her about this, because I knew she was a really good person on the inside, and wanted her to stop being someone she’s not. According to the Love and Conflict Booklet this step is called, “Talk It Out”. When we were having a casual conversation one day, I gently brought up the topic of other people. Slowly but surely, I asked her about how she felt towards them, and she admitted that sometimes she felt a little impatient towards other people, but not towards me because I was like her little sister. Throughout this whole conversation, I listened to her, made sure she knew how other people felt towards her behavior, and also made sure she knew I was in no way blaming her or telling her she was wrong. Eventually after more of this talking/listening conversation, she started to realize that her attitude towards others may have been a little harsh, and promised to have more patience towards others in the future.

Love and Conflict has taught me to better confront conflicts in life, and how to better treat the people around me that matter.

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我很幸運地參加了第一屆愛與衝突兒童和睦營。三天兩夜裡,我學到了如何處理生活中的衝突。成為和平使者的關鍵,就於我們想要愛神和討神喜悅的心。

我在營會所學的,很快就用上而且很有幫助。就像其他青少年,我也碰到友誼的衝突,不管是夾在兩個吵架的好友中,或要決定是否和朋友絕交。

二月時,我認識一個朋友,她對我非常好,但對別人就很差了。她對不喜歡的人,會給他們取難聽的綽號,或不尊重對方。我想到營會裡所教的,剛開始不知道該怎麼跟她說起,但我記得首先需要有耐心。當聽到她嚴苛地批評朋友時,我沒有指責她,只是溫和地請她不要再說。後來,我決定和她好好談,因為我知道她內心是善良的,希望她不要作不是真正的她的人。根據「愛與衝突教戰守則」,這步驟叫「說出來」。有天,我們聊天時,我談起關於其他朋友的話題,緩慢而明確地問她對他們的感覺,她承認有時對那些人沒有耐性。整個過程,我聽她說,確定她知道別人對她行為的感受,也讓她明白我沒有責備或說她錯的意思。經過幾次的聽和說出來,她開始意識到她對朋友的態度是有些惡劣,並答應日後對朋友會多點耐心。

感謝「愛與衝突」教我怎樣面對生活中的衝突,也學習更好地對待周圍的人。

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